March 31, 2011
“Winter will end with the last eight words of the national anthem, which are, as every real American knows, ‘and the home of the brave play ball’.” -George Will Even though the real opening day is tomorrow when the Cubs play, I figured I’d go along with the sham and reveal my predictions for the […]
March 31, 2011
If I’ve learned anything lately, it’s that only big league jackasses learn from mistakes of the past. It makes you a hypocrite, a baby-killer, and probably a Hinder fan. Secret secrets are no fun. Secret secrets hurt someone. There’s the news that Obama is “secretly” agreeing to arm the Libyan rebels. Because stuff like that […]
March 29, 2011
“I always use the word extreme,” Schumer unknowingly told reporters. He was referring to the “extreme” budget cuts Republicans are trying to make. They’re trying to tear down the foundations of our economy, like cowboy poetry festivals. Schumer was coaching fellow democrats on the most effective ways to exude horse shit from their mouths. The best […]
It seems that Tim Pawlenty has recieved some sage advice from Mitt Romney: ”Keep talking until they like something you say.” Want to know what his position is on an issue? Well, what would you like it to be? It’s ok that he supported cap and trade because other people did, too! “Everybody in the race, […]
I couldn’t decide what to title my post about Pat Bauer, the house minority leader in Indiana. This is Pat Bauer: Awesome, right? So here were the titles I was considering: 1. Pat Bauer and his independent hair. 2. Pat Bauer’s Big (Union Sponsored) Adventure (to Illinois) 3. Pat Bauer saved democracy. You’re welcome, Cleisthenes. […]
It’s true! They’re starting the season with Andrew Cashner as the fifth starter and they released Carlos Silva. In honor of this move, tomorrow I will wear a hat on my ass and shoes on my hands. I’m just hoping they aren’t trying to build up Cashner’s trade value to swap him for Steve Trachsel.
If you’re trying desperately to establish yourself as the guy that “goes there”, the trick is to not make it so painfully obvious that you’re trying so desperately hard. He’s like a living, breathing episode of Family Guy. If I thought anybody besides myself and maybe my fiancée would be reading this, I would refuse to mention […]
March 28, 2011
On March 19, 2011, the United States began military action against Libya. On March 28, 2011, the President of the United States has graciously agreed to address his citizens to inform them of the military action against Libya. Thanks for the heads up, chief. I don’t want to be too critical, he did seem pretty busy not picking […]
March 27, 2011
Indiana had the 8th highest income growth in the nation last year. Unemployment is now down to 8.8%, which is lowest in the midwest, and this is with Indiana having fewer state workers than they’ve had since the 1970′s. Job growth in Indiana is also more than double the rate of the rest of the […]
March 27, 2011
Michelle Bachman plans to run for President of the United States of America. With sanity and integrity that could rival only the likes of Anthony Weiner and Sarah Palin, she thinks she should be President. The only appropriate response I can think of for this news is to go poop in the shower. Good day.