I bet Chuck Schumer drinks Mountain Dew by the bucket full.

Posted on March 29, 2011

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I always use the word extreme,” Schumer unknowingly told reporters.  He was referring to the “extreme” budget cuts Republicans are trying to make.  They’re trying to tear down the foundations of our economy, like cowboy poetry festivals.

Schumer was coaching fellow democrats on the most effective ways to exude horse shit from their mouths.  The best part is that once they found out the media heard him, they still used the very same horse shit.  It’s probably because Schumer is just so damn extreme.  I mean, he always uses extreme and that’s why he always drinks Mountain Dew.  Did you know that about 10% of our entire GDP is money our government borrowed?  EXTREME!  Did you know that in just a few years the payments for the interest on our debt will be more than we spend on national defense and medicaid?  EXTREME!

There is one glaring flaw in the article, though.  I really doubt Chuck pronounced the “e” in “extreme”.  10 to 1 odds that it’s simply “xtreme” when he uses it.

I’ve reached out to Senator Schumer to comment on “what’s the point of even drinking a soda pop if it’s not extreme?”  I kind of doubt he’ll answer since he’s probably busy snowboarding down a glacier or something.

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