The “Julia” Budget

Posted on May 4, 2012

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Obama used his imaginary composite girlfriend to show how many people Mitt Romney wants to murder by not increasing government spending as much as he wants to increase government spending.  But Obama’s budget is still unacceptable.  I am proposing vastly greater increases than Obama, which means however much less he wants to spend is a “spending cut”.  And I will show you just how devastating his spending cuts are.

Head Start Program

We start with Julia at age 3, where she is dependent upon Obama for pre-school education with the Head Start program.  He says that Ryan’s budget cuts the program by 20%, or for 200,000 kids.  But that means Obama’s only covers 1 million kids.  What about the millions of other kids?  So I propose a 1000% increase to $80 billion.  That means Obama’s budget would take education away from 9,000,000 kids.  Why does Obama hate kids?

K-12 Education

Next Julia is 17 and preparing to graduate high school.  Obama says the GOP budget cuts money to the Department of Education.  I propose we send every K-12 student to a school the caliber of the one the Obama children attend, which costs about $34,000 per year.  So for all 56m K-12 students, it would be about $2 trillion.  So Obama’s budget cuts federal education spending by about $1.95 TRILLION!  Why won’t he invest in our future?!

And our schools will never improve unless we pay teachers what they deserve.  Do you honestly believe that teachers shouldn’t make as much as the fat cat 1% banksters?  So I propose we fund teachers’ salaries an additional $250,000 (on top of the average $50,000 they make now) to put them in the top 1% where they belong.  For the 6.2m teachers in America, that would be about $1.5 trillion.  Why does Obama want to cut teachers’ pay by $250,000?!  Why doesn’t he want them to have a living wage?

College 

A year later we pick up with Julia getting a Pell Grant and a $10,000 tax credit from Our Great Provider and we learn that Republicans want to cut funding for Pell Grants and this tax credit.  But why should young people be burdened with the cost of higher learning at all?  This is an investment in our future!  College is a basic human right.  I propose funding an Ivy League education for every student.  Why should only the children of fat cat banksters be able to afford our finest schools?  There are about 11.5m college students, average tuition for an Ivy League school is $200K for 4 years = $2.3 trillion.  Obama wants to put a burden of over $2T on our young students who are just getting started in their lives.  This is reprehensible.

Healthcare

At 22, Julia has surgery.  Obama has graciously allowed her to stay on her parents’ insurance 4 years after most have graduated college.  But eventually she will have to pay for her own health insurance.  And there are still out of pocket expenses.  Health care is a basic human right.  It’s not something we should have to “pay” for.  So I propose we cover the cost of all healthcare expenses.  This is about $3 trillion per year.  Without this, people will suffer and DIE.  As Nancy Pelosi correctly pointed out when Republicans wanted to cut some government program, they would be voting to let women DIE on the floor.  So Obama’s budget causes MILLIONS to suffer and DIE.  Obama wants people to DIE!

Jobs

When Julia turns 23, she starts a job, confident that she can sue her employer if she feels slighted at all.  But about 50% of students graduating from college can’t find a job.  There are 23 million under or unemployed.  This is callous and cruel.  And as Democrats often point out, anytime the government does not fund any sort of program that would create any sort of job, you voted against jobs and you are causing unemployment.  So we need to give these 23 million people federal jobs at the average compensation of federal employees. 23 million x $123,000 = $2.8 trillion.  Obama’s plan is to put 23 million people out of work and out on the street.

College Loans

Julia graduates college at 25 and we learn about affordable loans Obama rains down upon us.  I’ve already covered college, but Obama’s plan is brilliant.  Due to easily accessible federal college loans for nearly anyone that wants one, colleges know that can continue to exponentially increase tuition costs.  I bet they didn’t count on the brilliance of Obama in just handing out even MORE loans.  That ought to end that vicious cycle.

Free Birth Controls!

I can’t believe the Obama campaign didn’t accidentally call Julia “Sandra” in the age 27 entry.  It’s all about how Obama has finally vanquished the basic laws of math and economics and found a way to make a product “free”.  Free birth controls for all.  But Obama only gives them free to people with health insurance.  No!  They must be free for all…well, all women, at least.  As Sandra Fluke told us, it costs $3,ooo per year.  So 3,000 for all 150,000,000 women = $450 billion.  Obama wants to put a burden of over $400 billion on women.  He must truly hate them to turn back the clock like that.

Healthcare (Again)

When Julia turns 31, she is mysteriously impregnated – most likely from Obama’s midichlorians.  It talks about more free things Obama gives women.  I already covered this.

Education (Again)

At 37, Julia sends her kid to school.  Already covered.  Is it possible that Obama has more entries than free things?

One thing Obama doesn’t mention during Julia’s life is law enforcement.  How does Julia know she and/or her kid won’t get raped?  As Joe Biden has told us, if you’re against providing additional federal money for police, you want people to get raped.  Well there are thousands of rapes every year and only 800,000 law enforcement personnel in the US.  We need at least 10 times the police officers.  So I propose an additional 10 million police officers.  Obviously police should also make as much as fat cat 1% banksters, so 10m x $300,000 = $3 trillion.  Obama wants to cut funding for 10 million police officers.  Just imagine the thousands upon thousands of rapes that will occur because of Obama’s plan.  Why does Obama want everybody to get raped?

Small Business

Julia starts her own business at 42.  It talks about how much Obama helps small businesses by giving out more sweet loans.  An idiot might think that Obama’s policies have hurt small business since start ups are down 100,000 during his Presidency.  But if you think that you’re an idiot.

Medicare

We don’t see Julia again until she’s 65 and ready to enroll in Medicare.  Obama has no plan to make Medicare solvent, so it’s hilarious that he thinks it will still be around when a young person today is 65.

Social Security

At 67, Julia can now take from Social Security.  Same thing as Medicare, Obama has no plan to keep it solvent.

Conclusion:

We aren’t dealing with real money anyway.  Obama’s budgets would continue to spend trillions more than we actually have.  If we’re just pretending anyway, why not spend enough to cover it all?  So I’ve proposed an additional $15.85 trillion to the budget.  A penny less than that is a spending cut that will result in rape, murder, death, and a dark future for our children.  Why does Obama want to cut all of these programs?  Why does he want all of this death, rape and destruction?

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